I Took A Break

Christmas has been and gone in a flash. I don't know whether it always goes by that quickly or whether it just felt as though it never happened due to me getting over the flu still but spending the week leading up to Christmas bedridden was not exactly how I pictured things. You just know don't you, when you wake up in the morning and a storm is coming. I could feel it in my throat last Monday when I stumbled out of bed to grab some water, but I made my way back to the warmth of my duvet and fell back to sleep. When I woke up again at a more appropriate time, I felt like I had some sort of foul hangover but not being one to surrender easily, I got out of bed and started my day. That didn't last long. By lunch time I had retreated back to bed and only got up to let the dogs out, relieve myself or refill my water glass.

I'm not usually a wallower but I honestly couldn't think of anything to do but lie there feeling sorry for myself. It was the kind of illness where the slightest movement makes you feel like you're going to vom and you quickly become super fed up of trying to stay warm enough or cool yourself down with roller coaster-ing fevers. 

Time for some more honest truths; I don't think I like Christmas very much. It's not necessarily a hatred or loathing, I'm not about to sprout green hair and destroy everyone's stacks of presents but I really don't understand any of it. It's more the greedy and gluttonous behaviours that grate on me the most, the fact that you can't nip to the shops for one thing without being biffed about by various individuals all trying to cram as many Jaffa Cake yards into their trolleys as possible and it's that one time of year where the Bisto gets absolutely ransacked. The only other time I see shelves in this kind of naked state is when people go ape shit for Nutella over the Pancake Day season. We didn't go crazy with pressies this year, simply because we've spent so much on our new house and have plenty more to be spending our money on like fixing our bathroom and replacing the rancid carpets, that we agreed to not go crazy on presents this year for anyone. So why did I feel so guilty this year that I didn't spend a great deal on people? Why did I stress about the presents for the family I barely know and never see? As for the day itself, there's this huge build up and when nothing particularly exciting happens, it brings on a proper downer and almost a disappointment because after all, Christmas is the best day of the year, right? I couldn't disagree more to be quite honest, to me it's just another day and whilst I appreciate beyond words the gifts and my family being around, a huge part of me is still wondering why on earth we go so crazy for Christmas.

It took some real discipline but I stayed off my phone quite a bit over Christmas and the silver lining of being sick helped me along my way to having one of those social media detoxes that I've seen people raving about a lot recently. It actually helped that I wasn't able to look at my phone without feeling sicky again so that sure stopped me from aimlessly scrolling through the platforms but I noticed such a huge difference in my mental health after staying away for a few days. Instead of worrying about where my next Instagram post was going to be coming from, I decided to just lie in bed and mull over the ideas I have for my shop in 2018. I've been contemplating a few things but I've had so much going on towards the end of the year that I just decided to leave it all for the new one. But I have some projects in mind and a real kick of motivation to get cracking!

Happy New Year everyone and thanks for reading!

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